Some of precautionary measures to be followed before & after 498a cases

Some of precautionary measures to be followed before & after 498a cases

General:

* Right from the marriage learn about the marriage laws of India . (Divorce Laws / Various Grounds for divorce/ Alimony / Other by products like 498a, DV Act etc)
* Never commit fully with wife & her family before making sure that the girl really loves husband & respects his family.(Like spending money to their family, getting job to her brothers etc)
* Love, Respect, Trust & Intimacy are the four pillars of marriage. If it misses any one of these 4, then definitely it will end up with divorce & in turn 498a in current trend.

Wife Side Family Structure:

* Understand the structure of the wife' family. Get to know about the decision-making & influencing people from their family.
* Collect all the employment & social standings of male members of wife's family.
* Get the contact details, employment details and social background of as many relatives as possible of wife’s side.
* Don't disclose any financial information of your family to anybody from wife's side.
* Never discuss wife side family matters, financial interests, investments etc.
* If something fishy about the activities of wife & her relatives, try to reduce the interaction with her relatives.

During Marriage Life:

* Keep evidence / bills / receipts etc for every purchase / expenses you do when u r with wife.
* Never believe the innocent face of the wife after acrimonious quarrels with her husband.
* Try to find out opposing member from wife's family to get information. Keep in touch with them & it will be very helpful in case of 498a & DV act cases.
* It’s easy to find impending cases & actions from wife's side by her behavior with husband & his family. If u smells any abnormality, don’t argue with her & try to solve or mellow down the wife.
* Learn about health abnormalities of the wife & past records of it, if any.
* Read about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) & related abnormalities. Try to understand the symptoms w.r.t the wife’s behavior. These disorders are very crucial in deciding the behavior. No sane female will try having her marriage life, personal things, etc in Police records & try to book criminal case against her husband & put him in the jail.

Pre 498a:

* Try to read between the lines in wife’s family conversation, as there can be lot of clues for the impending cases.
* If u r sure that the marriage will not last, make the first move. That is filing either RCR or Divorce petition, based on nature of wife.
* In case of martial problems, where husband is 100% sure that wife won’t rejoin, file RCR & enjoy the fun at family court counseling sessions.
* If the FIL & any other male members or relatives of the wife is in Govt job & if the wife behaves abnormally, be sure that 498a is going to hit you any time. Govt employees are well aware of the dowry case & women's cell. And they think that its one of their perks to implicate false dowry case, if some female from their family has troubled marriage.
* But the advantage of having relatives or FIL in the govt job is, u can nail them easily as so many rules & regulations are framed in various govt depts.
* Do your homework to learn about laws & issues related to 498a & DV act. Make sure that Police, lawyers & wife's family are aware about your knowledge in these cases. If Police comes to know about your awareness on these issues, they will never dare to intimidate you.

Post 498a:

* Keep in mind. If 498a is in your fate, nothing in this world could stop it. So main strategy is to keep calm & collect information on their movements. Don’t discuss much about the problem.
* Contact nearest SIF team members & attend the meetings regularly to under stand the gravity of the problem.
* Don’t panic & ask your family members not to panic. Make them aware of all these false dowry cases & its motive. For parents & elders false dowry cases will be a great shock. Educate them & make them comfortable.
* Never accept the demands of the police & lawyers for settlement & mutual consent divorce with 498a as intimidating weapon.
* Adhere the conditions of AB & say good bye to Police station.
* Don’t withdraw RCR & make those ill educated girl & her family to run around family court.
* It’s for sure, if you hold the fort for 6 months - 1 year, they will definitely come to your terms. You can dictate things as per your will.
* NEVER, repeat NEVER go for Mutual Consent Divorce when 498a case is open.
* Keep watching the moments of immediate family members & other family members from the wife side thru contacts or detective agencies. Be sure if a girl is filing a false 498a on her husband means, credibility, moral are very low in her family. Definitely there could be lot of abnormalities their family. Get detailed background about her parents & siblings. (This should have been done b4 marriage. Since we missed it, we got trapped in 498a)
* If the girl is employed or eligible for employment, keep a special eye on her moments. It will be very helpful for maintenance cases.
* Never be in hurry to settle the case with money. The police & the crooked lawyers can't do anything, once u passes the initial ordeals in the police station.
* In counseling sessions of RCR case, try to confuse the counselor & wife as much as possible by saying only good things about your wife, even if she had done nothing to u.(It will be real fun)
* Never show interest on 2nd marriage in any of your conversations with lawyers & wife's side.
* If the instigators, brothers, FIL are in govt job, collect info abt their credibility & make a move accordingly. Try to nail them individually by creating problems to them. Nobody will help others, if their own house is on fire.
* Uses RTI to its maximum extend. It’s our “Brahmastra” to tackle 498a case. RTI can be used effectively against the members of wife side, with clear cut objective.
* Don’t be in urge to file counter cases. Make slow & steady moves to nail them.
* Get the copy of the complaint or charge sheet & read every word in those documents. You can get numerous clues to file counter cases. Discuss with senior SIF members on this.
* Collect evidences to counter the allegations mentioned in the complaint.
* Trust that it’s extremely difficult to prove false allegations. So run thru your memory lane & write down all the incidents, fights, arguments happened between u & your wife from the day of your marriage. This will be very helpful in courts & counseling sessions.
* Keep a careful watch during counseling sessions in family court as u can get many clues & counter arguments from wife’s statement & counselor’s queries.

Advantages of false dowry cases:

* Never lose heart for these filthy cases, which kills time & money. It will definitely test your nerves & will power. At the end of this ordeal u will be surprised to see your own strength & will power growing immensely.
* Believe me, there is no other ordeal in this great nation (Jai Hind!) for its own citizens as intimidating & cruel than false 498a case. (And not every citizen of this country is blessed with this case, to test their nerves)
* Please concentrate on your job or business as usual. Everything will be cleared & u can start a fresh personal life. Believe me; these cases can supply immense will power, which u can use in job or business to deal with day to day problems.
* Can get rid of ill educated & crooked wife.
* You will be aware of so many laws, IPCs & functions of Indian Judiciary, Police & other Govt organizations.
* Your strength & will power will improve tremendously, which will be very vital in this completive world. This is the real benefit out of 498a.

And always believe that, "TRUTH ALONE TRIUMPHS"

Men Who Cry- The Open Magazine Article

Article on Save Indian family movement in Open Magazine. Its an interesting coverage, candid and forthright.
http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/living/men-who-cry

SATURDAY MEETINGS

Every Saturday evening, members of the Safe Family Foundation (SFF) meet at Delhi’s Patiala House Court Complex, where incidentally some of them are fighting charges under, among others, Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code that refers to ‘cruelty by husband or relatives of husband’,

HC Mediation centre

First of all no need to give them undue advantage by loosing in the mind by thinking we can't do anything to our wife and in laws. We have to fight hard to get a case registered, but if we are just be a sitting duck, anyone can hit us.
Empower self with IPC as well as CrPC & RTI's replies and regularly attend SIFF Meetings

HC Mediation:
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1. Anytime you can say it is not in your interest and fail the mediation.
2. Dont worry about comments in report. Its only say pass or fail and you can substantiate the reason in the court (they being unreasonable/whatever reason you think)
3. During mediation, be firm and don't sound like you are way too flexible and you will not complain if they do or say anything unreasonable and trying to bully you. You can even tell the mediator also that they have to be fair and impartial (just to keep them on the backfoot, obviously they will come up with, i have so much experience and haven't seen anyone act like this and all that bullshit).
4. You have to keep changing your stance on what you want. Do not show what your real intentions are.
5. Be soft vs be hard, be aggressive vs be reasonable.
6. In the end if it is not to your liking, just say it is not going anywhere.

We have to help ourselves. Untill unless you fight you will not get anything.