We men too have hearts in the right place
PRATYUSH RAMAN
http://www.hindu.com/op/2010/09/26/stories/2010092656491600.htm
The August 29 issue of Open Page had five articles pertaining to feminism in one way or the other.
This article is not meant to deny the existence of important issues but looking at the same thing from the perspectives of different authors, again and again, is unfortunate. Cheesy headings, cheesier artworks and photographs, and comments coming from some of these essays are nothing short of an insult to an honest and sincere man.
It is also not uncommon to refer to men as a community totally separate from the human race and to present open biases against them.
In marriage, the freedom of the bride is often talked about. Agreed, some women have a hard time in their marriages, but here is some food for thought — can a man really be happy making someone suffer, especially his wife? Does a man not suffer if his marriage is not successful? It is extraordinary how it is presented as a woman-only problem whereas bad marriage, in reality, is a problem for both man and woman, and the loss, more than physical or monetary, is emotional. The result is that the issue can hardly be solved by law because law does not ‘know,' it ‘judges' and emotions can be hard things to ‘judge.'
A good relationship cannot be maintained at gunpoint, but by good counselling, understanding and communication. Decisions on freedom of woman (or man) or, in fact, anything that affects both lives, should be taken jointly. Some of these decisions are rather difficult, but unfortunately any external force is likely to make it worse.
It is often mentioned that women have a harder time at office. Promotions, perks and even salaries are lower for them. This problem is shown statistically, so let us answer it statistically. Surveys have shown that women don't demand as much as their male peers and for those who do, well, what to say? We have CEOs, we have leaders who are women; and, as far as male ego goes, a man won't like to be beaten by a woman. Accepted. He won't like to get beaten by a gentleman either.
Prejudice. A word used a lot in the context we are talking about. Parents' prejudice, peer prejudice, classmates' prejudice against a teacher's pet and what not. “I want to do a job, but my parents want me to marry after college and they want my brother to be an engineer in a good company. Why such prejudice?” asks a friend. I ask her if she can see her brother marrying instead of doing a job. She looks complaining but amused at the same time. If a woman is denied job over marriage, a man is denied marriage over job. If one says that a man won't want that, it is just an example of prejudice I am talking about. The tension, the bad times, and the social stigma — everything is very much real, but they exist, and they exist for everyone. I am a man of little importance, except to my parents and friends. Yet, I am a man who respects both man and woman and disrespects anyone who disgraces someone's sanctity and self-pride.
It is my appeal to all feminist authors to know that there are men having hearts in their right place, and hence it is a request to them to be more sensitive in what they are writing.
Monday, September 27, 2010
We men too have hearts in the right place- The Hindu
We men too have hearts in the right place
PRATYUSH RAMAN
http://www.hindu.com/op/2010/09/26/stories/2010092656491600.htm
The August 29 issue of Open Page had five articles pertaining to feminism in one way or the other.
This article is not meant to deny the existence of important issues but looking at the same thing from the perspectives of different authors, again and again, is unfortunate. Cheesy headings, cheesier artworks and photographs, and comments coming from some of these essays are nothing short of an insult to an honest and sincere man.
It is also not uncommon to refer to men as a community totally separate from the human race and to present open biases against them.
In marriage, the freedom of the bride is often talked about. Agreed, some women have a hard time in their marriages, but here is some food for thought — can a man really be happy making someone suffer, especially his wife? Does a man not suffer if his marriage is not successful? It is extraordinary how it is presented as a woman-only problem whereas bad marriage, in reality, is a problem for both man and woman, and the loss, more than physical or monetary, is emotional. The result is that the issue can hardly be solved by law because law does not ‘know,' it ‘judges' and emotions can be hard things to ‘judge.'
A good relationship cannot be maintained at gunpoint, but by good counselling, understanding and communication. Decisions on freedom of woman (or man) or, in fact, anything that affects both lives, should be taken jointly. Some of these decisions are rather difficult, but unfortunately any external force is likely to make it worse.
It is often mentioned that women have a harder time at office. Promotions, perks and even salaries are lower for them. This problem is shown statistically, so let us answer it statistically. Surveys have shown that women don't demand as much as their male peers and for those who do, well, what to say? We have CEOs, we have leaders who are women; and, as far as male ego goes, a man won't like to be beaten by a woman. Accepted. He won't like to get beaten by a gentleman either.
Prejudice. A word used a lot in the context we are talking about. Parents' prejudice, peer prejudice, classmates' prejudice against a teacher's pet and what not. “I want to do a job, but my parents want me to marry after college and they want my brother to be an engineer in a good company. Why such prejudice?” asks a friend. I ask her if she can see her brother marrying instead of doing a job. She looks complaining but amused at the same time. If a woman is denied job over marriage, a man is denied marriage over job. If one says that a man won't want that, it is just an example of prejudice I am talking about. The tension, the bad times, and the social stigma — everything is very much real, but they exist, and they exist for everyone. I am a man of little importance, except to my parents and friends. Yet, I am a man who respects both man and woman and disrespects anyone who disgraces someone's sanctity and self-pride.
It is my appeal to all feminist authors to know that there are men having hearts in their right place, and hence it is a request to them to be more sensitive in what they are writing.
PRATYUSH RAMAN
http://www.hindu.com/op/2010/09/26/stories/2010092656491600.htm
The August 29 issue of Open Page had five articles pertaining to feminism in one way or the other.
This article is not meant to deny the existence of important issues but looking at the same thing from the perspectives of different authors, again and again, is unfortunate. Cheesy headings, cheesier artworks and photographs, and comments coming from some of these essays are nothing short of an insult to an honest and sincere man.
It is also not uncommon to refer to men as a community totally separate from the human race and to present open biases against them.
In marriage, the freedom of the bride is often talked about. Agreed, some women have a hard time in their marriages, but here is some food for thought — can a man really be happy making someone suffer, especially his wife? Does a man not suffer if his marriage is not successful? It is extraordinary how it is presented as a woman-only problem whereas bad marriage, in reality, is a problem for both man and woman, and the loss, more than physical or monetary, is emotional. The result is that the issue can hardly be solved by law because law does not ‘know,' it ‘judges' and emotions can be hard things to ‘judge.'
A good relationship cannot be maintained at gunpoint, but by good counselling, understanding and communication. Decisions on freedom of woman (or man) or, in fact, anything that affects both lives, should be taken jointly. Some of these decisions are rather difficult, but unfortunately any external force is likely to make it worse.
It is often mentioned that women have a harder time at office. Promotions, perks and even salaries are lower for them. This problem is shown statistically, so let us answer it statistically. Surveys have shown that women don't demand as much as their male peers and for those who do, well, what to say? We have CEOs, we have leaders who are women; and, as far as male ego goes, a man won't like to be beaten by a woman. Accepted. He won't like to get beaten by a gentleman either.
Prejudice. A word used a lot in the context we are talking about. Parents' prejudice, peer prejudice, classmates' prejudice against a teacher's pet and what not. “I want to do a job, but my parents want me to marry after college and they want my brother to be an engineer in a good company. Why such prejudice?” asks a friend. I ask her if she can see her brother marrying instead of doing a job. She looks complaining but amused at the same time. If a woman is denied job over marriage, a man is denied marriage over job. If one says that a man won't want that, it is just an example of prejudice I am talking about. The tension, the bad times, and the social stigma — everything is very much real, but they exist, and they exist for everyone. I am a man of little importance, except to my parents and friends. Yet, I am a man who respects both man and woman and disrespects anyone who disgraces someone's sanctity and self-pride.
It is my appeal to all feminist authors to know that there are men having hearts in their right place, and hence it is a request to them to be more sensitive in what they are writing.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
More Men committed Sucide in India than Women
NEW DELHI: India reported 122,637 suicides last year — an average of 336 every day — with more men ending their lives than women, the latest report of the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) has revealed.
Although suicide was a nationwide phenomenon, five states — Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh, West Bengal, Tamil Nadu and Karnataka — registered consistently higher number of suicidal deaths during the last few years. Overall, 2007 recorded an increase of 3.8% over the previous year's figure of 118,112.
Poverty was surprisingly not the major reason for suicide with more people ending their lives due to family (23.8%) and health problems (22.3%) than bankruptcy or sudden change in economic status (2.7%), love affairs (2.8%), dowry dispute (2.6%), unemployment (2%) and suspected/illicit relation (1.1%). Only 2.3% of people committed suicide due to poverty.
A definite trend is also noticed among different states which, perhaps, speaks volumes about the `psychological state' of people than their actual difficulties which they might be facing before being prompted to take the extreme step.
The latest report of the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), released last month and covering the year 2007 has revealed much more. Incidentally, it is not the comparatively poor states like Bihar, Orissa and Uttar Pradesh which witnessed suicides in higher numbers. The dubious distiction, in fact, went to well-off states like Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu and Karnataka.
Out of the total 122,637 suicides committed in the country last year, the highest, 15,184, was reported from Maharashtra followed by Andhra Pradesh (14,882), West Bengal (14,860), Tamil Nadu (13,811) and Karnataka (12,304). These five states accounted for 57.9% of the total suicides reported in India. The remaining were reported from the other 23 states and seven Union Territories (UTs). UP, the most populous state (16.6% share of population) reported comparatively lower percentage, accounting for only 3.2% of total suicides.
As far as suicides committed by farmers (16,632) are concerned, Maharashtra (4,238) surpassed all other states with its Vidarbha region becoming the focal point.
According to the NCRB's report, Karnataka saw 2,135 farmer suicides, Andhra Pradesh (1,797), Chhattisgarh (1,593), Madhya Pradesh (1,263) and Kerala (1,232). Although the overall figure shows a slight fall from 17,060 in 2006, the broad trend remained unchanged with indebtedness becoming the main cause.
The number of farmers who committed suicide in Maharashtra accounted for more than a quarter of the total suicides reported in the state.
Referring to the sex profile of persons committing suicide during 2007, the NCRB report said social and economic causes led most males to kill themselves whereas emotional and personal causes mainly drove women to end their lives.
Sex wise figures show that the male-female ratio of suicide victims for 2007 was 65:35. However, the proportion of boys-girls suicide victims (upto 14 years was 48:52. The proportion of female victims was comparatively higher under the heads dowry dispute, illegitimate pregnancy, not having children, divorce, physical abuse, cancellation/non-settlement of marriage and suspected/illicit relation.
The NCRB, for the first time, gave statistics of family members committing suicide jointly under a common pact. Total 264 deaths were reported under this category where 118 males and 146 females committed suicide. The highest number of such cases were reported from Kerala (39) followed by Andhra Pradesh (34) and Madhya Pradesh (12).
According to NCRB, the means adopted for suicide varied from easily available means such as consumption of poison and jumping into a well to more painful means such as self-inflicted injuries, hanging and shooting.
Read more: More men committed suicide in India than women: Report - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/More_men_committed_suicide_Report/articleshow/3842361.cms#ixzz10AYR68hG
Although suicide was a nationwide phenomenon, five states — Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh, West Bengal, Tamil Nadu and Karnataka — registered consistently higher number of suicidal deaths during the last few years. Overall, 2007 recorded an increase of 3.8% over the previous year's figure of 118,112.
Poverty was surprisingly not the major reason for suicide with more people ending their lives due to family (23.8%) and health problems (22.3%) than bankruptcy or sudden change in economic status (2.7%), love affairs (2.8%), dowry dispute (2.6%), unemployment (2%) and suspected/illicit relation (1.1%). Only 2.3% of people committed suicide due to poverty.
A definite trend is also noticed among different states which, perhaps, speaks volumes about the `psychological state' of people than their actual difficulties which they might be facing before being prompted to take the extreme step.
The latest report of the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), released last month and covering the year 2007 has revealed much more. Incidentally, it is not the comparatively poor states like Bihar, Orissa and Uttar Pradesh which witnessed suicides in higher numbers. The dubious distiction, in fact, went to well-off states like Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu and Karnataka.
Out of the total 122,637 suicides committed in the country last year, the highest, 15,184, was reported from Maharashtra followed by Andhra Pradesh (14,882), West Bengal (14,860), Tamil Nadu (13,811) and Karnataka (12,304). These five states accounted for 57.9% of the total suicides reported in India. The remaining were reported from the other 23 states and seven Union Territories (UTs). UP, the most populous state (16.6% share of population) reported comparatively lower percentage, accounting for only 3.2% of total suicides.
As far as suicides committed by farmers (16,632) are concerned, Maharashtra (4,238) surpassed all other states with its Vidarbha region becoming the focal point.
According to the NCRB's report, Karnataka saw 2,135 farmer suicides, Andhra Pradesh (1,797), Chhattisgarh (1,593), Madhya Pradesh (1,263) and Kerala (1,232). Although the overall figure shows a slight fall from 17,060 in 2006, the broad trend remained unchanged with indebtedness becoming the main cause.
The number of farmers who committed suicide in Maharashtra accounted for more than a quarter of the total suicides reported in the state.
Referring to the sex profile of persons committing suicide during 2007, the NCRB report said social and economic causes led most males to kill themselves whereas emotional and personal causes mainly drove women to end their lives.
Sex wise figures show that the male-female ratio of suicide victims for 2007 was 65:35. However, the proportion of boys-girls suicide victims (upto 14 years was 48:52. The proportion of female victims was comparatively higher under the heads dowry dispute, illegitimate pregnancy, not having children, divorce, physical abuse, cancellation/non-settlement of marriage and suspected/illicit relation.
The NCRB, for the first time, gave statistics of family members committing suicide jointly under a common pact. Total 264 deaths were reported under this category where 118 males and 146 females committed suicide. The highest number of such cases were reported from Kerala (39) followed by Andhra Pradesh (34) and Madhya Pradesh (12).
According to NCRB, the means adopted for suicide varied from easily available means such as consumption of poison and jumping into a well to more painful means such as self-inflicted injuries, hanging and shooting.
Read more: More men committed suicide in India than women: Report - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/More_men_committed_suicide_Report/articleshow/3842361.cms#ixzz10AYR68hG
Eight of 16 CJIs were 'corrupt', says ex-law minister
http://in.news.yahoo.com/43/20100916/812/tnl-eight-of-16-cjis-were-corrupt-says-e.html
Former Union Law Minister Shanti Bhushan Thursday told the Supreme Court that at least eight of the 16 chief justices of India (CJIs) were 'definitely corrupt'.
In an affidavit filed Thursday, senior counsel Shanti Bhushan said that six of the CJIs were 'definitely honest' and he could not comment on the remaining two judges.
The senior counsel sought to be impleaded in a case in which his son Prashant Bhushan is facing contempt proceedings.
Sixteen CJIs that Shanti Bhushan has mentioned in his affidavit are: Justice Rangnath Mishra, Justice K.N. Singh, Justice M.H. Kaina, Justice L.M. Sharma, Justice M.N. Venkatachalliah, Justice A.M. Ahemadi, Justice J.S. Verma, Justice M.M. Punchhi, Justice A.S. Anand, Justice S.P. Bharucha, Justice B.N. Kirpal, Justice G.B. Pathak, Justice Rajendra Babu, Justice R.C. Lohati, Justice V.N. Khare and Justice Y.K. Sabharwal.
Shanti Bhushan in his affidavit said that two former CJIs had personally told him that their immediate predecessors and immediate successors were corrupt judges. He said that the names of those four CJIs were included in the list of eight corrupt CJIs.
Former Union Law Minister Shanti Bhushan Thursday told the Supreme Court that at least eight of the 16 chief justices of India (CJIs) were 'definitely corrupt'.
In an affidavit filed Thursday, senior counsel Shanti Bhushan said that six of the CJIs were 'definitely honest' and he could not comment on the remaining two judges.
The senior counsel sought to be impleaded in a case in which his son Prashant Bhushan is facing contempt proceedings.
Sixteen CJIs that Shanti Bhushan has mentioned in his affidavit are: Justice Rangnath Mishra, Justice K.N. Singh, Justice M.H. Kaina, Justice L.M. Sharma, Justice M.N. Venkatachalliah, Justice A.M. Ahemadi, Justice J.S. Verma, Justice M.M. Punchhi, Justice A.S. Anand, Justice S.P. Bharucha, Justice B.N. Kirpal, Justice G.B. Pathak, Justice Rajendra Babu, Justice R.C. Lohati, Justice V.N. Khare and Justice Y.K. Sabharwal.
Shanti Bhushan in his affidavit said that two former CJIs had personally told him that their immediate predecessors and immediate successors were corrupt judges. He said that the names of those four CJIs were included in the list of eight corrupt CJIs.
There is a welfare ministry for women, why not one for men?
http://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/report_there-is-a-welfare-ministry-for-women-why-not-one-for-men_1303548
Three years since the Protection of women from Domestic Violence (DV) Act was enforced, the Indian Family Foundation (IFF), comprising husbands allegedly victimised by the misuse of the law, demanded a law to protect them from abusive wives.
The IFF, an offshoot of the Save Family Foundation, consists of 30 members who have had matrimonial disputes and claimed to have their fingers “burnt”.
Addressing the media on Monday, Jinesh Zaveri of IFF said they had been conducting meetings for husbands, distressed owing to marital disputes, every weekend at the Sanjay Gandhi National Park, Borivli, and the Deshmukh Garden, Mulund, for a year.
“Every weekend we have at least 10 new cases coming before us where the wife has either vindictively lodged a false complaint against the husband and his family or threatened to do the same.”
Pointing out the loopholes in the DV Act, the IFF has stated that the law is “not woman-centric but wife-centric” as there is no remedy in it for a mother-in-law harassed by a daughter-in-law or protection against domestic violence for the husband, senior citizens and children.
“If a man files a complaint of cruelty against his wife it is treated as a non-cognisable offence. But when a woman files a cruelty complaint under 498A of the IPC, an FIR is registered and the husband and his family faces arrest,” Zaveri said. “Police custody for a common man is as good as conviction,” he added.
Bunty Jain of IFF said safeguards in the law should be introduced for men as well. “Let there be a section 498B in the IPC where even a man can complain against his wife for cruelty.” Moreover, he added, the right to maintenance given to the wife under section 125 of the CrPC is being misused for “legal extortion” from the husband. “Instead of asking the husband to pay maintenance, the law should make women self-sufficient.”
Citing a supreme court ruling, Zaveri said only 2% of cases under 498A are found to be genuine and the rest are false.
“In such instances, there should be a provision in law to punish the wife for lodging a false complaint,” he said.
Sandip Kedia of Child Rights and Family Welfare said when there is a women’s welfare ministry as well as an animal welfare board, there is an equally pressing need for men’s welfare ministry as well.
Women’s rights advocate Veena Gowda said IFF is raking a largely urban issue. “For a few urban men, who may have had problems, the law cannot be changed for the whole country,” she said. She said the section 498A is in fact under-used. In Mumbai, she said there were 380 cases filed under 498A in 2007.
“Are we to believe that in city with 163 lakh people, only 380 women were beaten by there husbands?” If the number of cases under 498A is compared with the number of women dying within a marriage, the latter will be far greater, she said, as a number of women never report the violence they are subjected to at home.
Gowda added that apart from the legal statistics, one cannot ignore social reality. “Indian society is still patriarchal and it has not reached a level where it can deal with gender neutral laws.”
Three years since the Protection of women from Domestic Violence (DV) Act was enforced, the Indian Family Foundation (IFF), comprising husbands allegedly victimised by the misuse of the law, demanded a law to protect them from abusive wives.
The IFF, an offshoot of the Save Family Foundation, consists of 30 members who have had matrimonial disputes and claimed to have their fingers “burnt”.
Addressing the media on Monday, Jinesh Zaveri of IFF said they had been conducting meetings for husbands, distressed owing to marital disputes, every weekend at the Sanjay Gandhi National Park, Borivli, and the Deshmukh Garden, Mulund, for a year.
“Every weekend we have at least 10 new cases coming before us where the wife has either vindictively lodged a false complaint against the husband and his family or threatened to do the same.”
Pointing out the loopholes in the DV Act, the IFF has stated that the law is “not woman-centric but wife-centric” as there is no remedy in it for a mother-in-law harassed by a daughter-in-law or protection against domestic violence for the husband, senior citizens and children.
“If a man files a complaint of cruelty against his wife it is treated as a non-cognisable offence. But when a woman files a cruelty complaint under 498A of the IPC, an FIR is registered and the husband and his family faces arrest,” Zaveri said. “Police custody for a common man is as good as conviction,” he added.
Bunty Jain of IFF said safeguards in the law should be introduced for men as well. “Let there be a section 498B in the IPC where even a man can complain against his wife for cruelty.” Moreover, he added, the right to maintenance given to the wife under section 125 of the CrPC is being misused for “legal extortion” from the husband. “Instead of asking the husband to pay maintenance, the law should make women self-sufficient.”
Citing a supreme court ruling, Zaveri said only 2% of cases under 498A are found to be genuine and the rest are false.
“In such instances, there should be a provision in law to punish the wife for lodging a false complaint,” he said.
Sandip Kedia of Child Rights and Family Welfare said when there is a women’s welfare ministry as well as an animal welfare board, there is an equally pressing need for men’s welfare ministry as well.
Women’s rights advocate Veena Gowda said IFF is raking a largely urban issue. “For a few urban men, who may have had problems, the law cannot be changed for the whole country,” she said. She said the section 498A is in fact under-used. In Mumbai, she said there were 380 cases filed under 498A in 2007.
“Are we to believe that in city with 163 lakh people, only 380 women were beaten by there husbands?” If the number of cases under 498A is compared with the number of women dying within a marriage, the latter will be far greater, she said, as a number of women never report the violence they are subjected to at home.
Gowda added that apart from the legal statistics, one cannot ignore social reality. “Indian society is still patriarchal and it has not reached a level where it can deal with gender neutral laws.”
'Mother, sisters protected equal to man's wife'
http://expressbuzz.com/nation/mother-sisters-protected-equal-to-mans-wife/208156.html
NEW DELHI: The mother and sisters of a man are equally protected in a dispute with his wife under the Domestic Violence Act and they cannot be made accused without a scrutiny of charges against them, a Delhi court has said.
"The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 protects the mothers, sisters and daughters from any kind of physical and mental abuse or violence in as much as it does the daughter-in-law. The court as a protector and implementor of rights, is required to perform a balancing act," Additional Sessions Judge Kamini Lau.
The court said that raising allegations by a woman against her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law without any substance would rather cause violence to them.
"Making wild allegations against an unmarried sister-in-law of a tender marriageable age by an estranged wife of brother tantamounts to inflicting violence upon her and it is the duty of the court to ensure that she is protected from the same.
"Violence can also be inflicted by an estranged wife or daughter-in-law or sister-in-law upon other members of the husband's family to gain and secure personal points and financial control or for separating her husband from his parents and other family members," the court said.
It further said that mother-in-law or sisters-in-law (married or unmarried) cannot be permitted to be subjected to harassment only because they happen to be related to the estranged husband of the woman (complainant).
"It is necessary to ensure the court does not get swayed by astute legal drafting of the counsel and is required to get at the truth of the allegations by examining them on the touch-stone of reasonableness and probabilities. Where a complaint appears to have been filed on grounds only to humiliate the family members, the same is required to be thrown out at the earliest opportunity", the court said.
The court made these observations while setting aside an order to summon the mother, two sisters-in-law including the married one of a man on a complaint filed by his wife alleging harassment.
ASJ Lau pointed out that the complainant alleged that her in-law had forcibly taken away her salary and wages which is false and incorrect as she herself admitted that she was not working. The court also said that the allegations regarding harassment for dowry do not appear to be "credible and truthful" particularly in view of the background that the marriage between the sparring couple was a secret, runaway marriage as an outcome of a love affair between them.
The woman said that she had married the man in July, 2008 and had faced harassment and torture for dowry.
NEW DELHI: The mother and sisters of a man are equally protected in a dispute with his wife under the Domestic Violence Act and they cannot be made accused without a scrutiny of charges against them, a Delhi court has said.
"The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 protects the mothers, sisters and daughters from any kind of physical and mental abuse or violence in as much as it does the daughter-in-law. The court as a protector and implementor of rights, is required to perform a balancing act," Additional Sessions Judge Kamini Lau.
The court said that raising allegations by a woman against her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law without any substance would rather cause violence to them.
"Making wild allegations against an unmarried sister-in-law of a tender marriageable age by an estranged wife of brother tantamounts to inflicting violence upon her and it is the duty of the court to ensure that she is protected from the same.
"Violence can also be inflicted by an estranged wife or daughter-in-law or sister-in-law upon other members of the husband's family to gain and secure personal points and financial control or for separating her husband from his parents and other family members," the court said.
It further said that mother-in-law or sisters-in-law (married or unmarried) cannot be permitted to be subjected to harassment only because they happen to be related to the estranged husband of the woman (complainant).
"It is necessary to ensure the court does not get swayed by astute legal drafting of the counsel and is required to get at the truth of the allegations by examining them on the touch-stone of reasonableness and probabilities. Where a complaint appears to have been filed on grounds only to humiliate the family members, the same is required to be thrown out at the earliest opportunity", the court said.
The court made these observations while setting aside an order to summon the mother, two sisters-in-law including the married one of a man on a complaint filed by his wife alleging harassment.
ASJ Lau pointed out that the complainant alleged that her in-law had forcibly taken away her salary and wages which is false and incorrect as she herself admitted that she was not working. The court also said that the allegations regarding harassment for dowry do not appear to be "credible and truthful" particularly in view of the background that the marriage between the sparring couple was a secret, runaway marriage as an outcome of a love affair between them.
The woman said that she had married the man in July, 2008 and had faced harassment and torture for dowry.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Some of precautionary measures to be followed before & after 498a cases
Some of precautionary measures to be followed before & after 498a cases
General:
* Right from the marriage learn about the marriage laws of India . (Divorce Laws / Various Grounds for divorce/ Alimony / Other by products like 498a, DV Act etc)
* Never commit fully with wife & her family before making sure that the girl really loves husband & respects his family.(Like spending money to their family, getting job to her brothers etc)
* Love, Respect, Trust & Intimacy are the four pillars of marriage. If it misses any one of these 4, then definitely it will end up with divorce & in turn 498a in current trend.
Wife Side Family Structure:
* Understand the structure of the wife' family. Get to know about the decision-making & influencing people from their family.
* Collect all the employment & social standings of male members of wife's family.
* Get the contact details, employment details and social background of as many relatives as possible of wife’s side.
* Don't disclose any financial information of your family to anybody from wife's side.
* Never discuss wife side family matters, financial interests, investments etc.
* If something fishy about the activities of wife & her relatives, try to reduce the interaction with her relatives.
During Marriage Life:
* Keep evidence / bills / receipts etc for every purchase / expenses you do when u r with wife.
* Never believe the innocent face of the wife after acrimonious quarrels with her husband.
* Try to find out opposing member from wife's family to get information. Keep in touch with them & it will be very helpful in case of 498a & DV act cases.
* It’s easy to find impending cases & actions from wife's side by her behavior with husband & his family. If u smells any abnormality, don’t argue with her & try to solve or mellow down the wife.
* Learn about health abnormalities of the wife & past records of it, if any.
* Read about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) & related abnormalities. Try to understand the symptoms w.r.t the wife’s behavior. These disorders are very crucial in deciding the behavior. No sane female will try having her marriage life, personal things, etc in Police records & try to book criminal case against her husband & put him in the jail.
Pre 498a:
* Try to read between the lines in wife’s family conversation, as there can be lot of clues for the impending cases.
* If u r sure that the marriage will not last, make the first move. That is filing either RCR or Divorce petition, based on nature of wife.
* In case of martial problems, where husband is 100% sure that wife won’t rejoin, file RCR & enjoy the fun at family court counseling sessions.
* If the FIL & any other male members or relatives of the wife is in Govt job & if the wife behaves abnormally, be sure that 498a is going to hit you any time. Govt employees are well aware of the dowry case & women's cell. And they think that its one of their perks to implicate false dowry case, if some female from their family has troubled marriage.
* But the advantage of having relatives or FIL in the govt job is, u can nail them easily as so many rules & regulations are framed in various govt depts.
* Do your homework to learn about laws & issues related to 498a & DV act. Make sure that Police, lawyers & wife's family are aware about your knowledge in these cases. If Police comes to know about your awareness on these issues, they will never dare to intimidate you.
Post 498a:
* Keep in mind. If 498a is in your fate, nothing in this world could stop it. So main strategy is to keep calm & collect information on their movements. Don’t discuss much about the problem.
* Contact nearest SIF team members & attend the meetings regularly to under stand the gravity of the problem.
* Don’t panic & ask your family members not to panic. Make them aware of all these false dowry cases & its motive. For parents & elders false dowry cases will be a great shock. Educate them & make them comfortable.
* Never accept the demands of the police & lawyers for settlement & mutual consent divorce with 498a as intimidating weapon.
* Adhere the conditions of AB & say good bye to Police station.
* Don’t withdraw RCR & make those ill educated girl & her family to run around family court.
* It’s for sure, if you hold the fort for 6 months - 1 year, they will definitely come to your terms. You can dictate things as per your will.
* NEVER, repeat NEVER go for Mutual Consent Divorce when 498a case is open.
* Keep watching the moments of immediate family members & other family members from the wife side thru contacts or detective agencies. Be sure if a girl is filing a false 498a on her husband means, credibility, moral are very low in her family. Definitely there could be lot of abnormalities their family. Get detailed background about her parents & siblings. (This should have been done b4 marriage. Since we missed it, we got trapped in 498a)
* If the girl is employed or eligible for employment, keep a special eye on her moments. It will be very helpful for maintenance cases.
* Never be in hurry to settle the case with money. The police & the crooked lawyers can't do anything, once u passes the initial ordeals in the police station.
* In counseling sessions of RCR case, try to confuse the counselor & wife as much as possible by saying only good things about your wife, even if she had done nothing to u.(It will be real fun)
* Never show interest on 2nd marriage in any of your conversations with lawyers & wife's side.
* If the instigators, brothers, FIL are in govt job, collect info abt their credibility & make a move accordingly. Try to nail them individually by creating problems to them. Nobody will help others, if their own house is on fire.
* Uses RTI to its maximum extend. It’s our “Brahmastra” to tackle 498a case. RTI can be used effectively against the members of wife side, with clear cut objective.
* Don’t be in urge to file counter cases. Make slow & steady moves to nail them.
* Get the copy of the complaint or charge sheet & read every word in those documents. You can get numerous clues to file counter cases. Discuss with senior SIF members on this.
* Collect evidences to counter the allegations mentioned in the complaint.
* Trust that it’s extremely difficult to prove false allegations. So run thru your memory lane & write down all the incidents, fights, arguments happened between u & your wife from the day of your marriage. This will be very helpful in courts & counseling sessions.
* Keep a careful watch during counseling sessions in family court as u can get many clues & counter arguments from wife’s statement & counselor’s queries.
Advantages of false dowry cases:
* Never lose heart for these filthy cases, which kills time & money. It will definitely test your nerves & will power. At the end of this ordeal u will be surprised to see your own strength & will power growing immensely.
* Believe me, there is no other ordeal in this great nation (Jai Hind!) for its own citizens as intimidating & cruel than false 498a case. (And not every citizen of this country is blessed with this case, to test their nerves)
* Please concentrate on your job or business as usual. Everything will be cleared & u can start a fresh personal life. Believe me; these cases can supply immense will power, which u can use in job or business to deal with day to day problems.
* Can get rid of ill educated & crooked wife.
* You will be aware of so many laws, IPCs & functions of Indian Judiciary, Police & other Govt organizations.
* Your strength & will power will improve tremendously, which will be very vital in this completive world. This is the real benefit out of 498a.
And always believe that, "TRUTH ALONE TRIUMPHS"
General:
* Right from the marriage learn about the marriage laws of India . (Divorce Laws / Various Grounds for divorce/ Alimony / Other by products like 498a, DV Act etc)
* Never commit fully with wife & her family before making sure that the girl really loves husband & respects his family.(Like spending money to their family, getting job to her brothers etc)
* Love, Respect, Trust & Intimacy are the four pillars of marriage. If it misses any one of these 4, then definitely it will end up with divorce & in turn 498a in current trend.
Wife Side Family Structure:
* Understand the structure of the wife' family. Get to know about the decision-making & influencing people from their family.
* Collect all the employment & social standings of male members of wife's family.
* Get the contact details, employment details and social background of as many relatives as possible of wife’s side.
* Don't disclose any financial information of your family to anybody from wife's side.
* Never discuss wife side family matters, financial interests, investments etc.
* If something fishy about the activities of wife & her relatives, try to reduce the interaction with her relatives.
During Marriage Life:
* Keep evidence / bills / receipts etc for every purchase / expenses you do when u r with wife.
* Never believe the innocent face of the wife after acrimonious quarrels with her husband.
* Try to find out opposing member from wife's family to get information. Keep in touch with them & it will be very helpful in case of 498a & DV act cases.
* It’s easy to find impending cases & actions from wife's side by her behavior with husband & his family. If u smells any abnormality, don’t argue with her & try to solve or mellow down the wife.
* Learn about health abnormalities of the wife & past records of it, if any.
* Read about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) & related abnormalities. Try to understand the symptoms w.r.t the wife’s behavior. These disorders are very crucial in deciding the behavior. No sane female will try having her marriage life, personal things, etc in Police records & try to book criminal case against her husband & put him in the jail.
Pre 498a:
* Try to read between the lines in wife’s family conversation, as there can be lot of clues for the impending cases.
* If u r sure that the marriage will not last, make the first move. That is filing either RCR or Divorce petition, based on nature of wife.
* In case of martial problems, where husband is 100% sure that wife won’t rejoin, file RCR & enjoy the fun at family court counseling sessions.
* If the FIL & any other male members or relatives of the wife is in Govt job & if the wife behaves abnormally, be sure that 498a is going to hit you any time. Govt employees are well aware of the dowry case & women's cell. And they think that its one of their perks to implicate false dowry case, if some female from their family has troubled marriage.
* But the advantage of having relatives or FIL in the govt job is, u can nail them easily as so many rules & regulations are framed in various govt depts.
* Do your homework to learn about laws & issues related to 498a & DV act. Make sure that Police, lawyers & wife's family are aware about your knowledge in these cases. If Police comes to know about your awareness on these issues, they will never dare to intimidate you.
Post 498a:
* Keep in mind. If 498a is in your fate, nothing in this world could stop it. So main strategy is to keep calm & collect information on their movements. Don’t discuss much about the problem.
* Contact nearest SIF team members & attend the meetings regularly to under stand the gravity of the problem.
* Don’t panic & ask your family members not to panic. Make them aware of all these false dowry cases & its motive. For parents & elders false dowry cases will be a great shock. Educate them & make them comfortable.
* Never accept the demands of the police & lawyers for settlement & mutual consent divorce with 498a as intimidating weapon.
* Adhere the conditions of AB & say good bye to Police station.
* Don’t withdraw RCR & make those ill educated girl & her family to run around family court.
* It’s for sure, if you hold the fort for 6 months - 1 year, they will definitely come to your terms. You can dictate things as per your will.
* NEVER, repeat NEVER go for Mutual Consent Divorce when 498a case is open.
* Keep watching the moments of immediate family members & other family members from the wife side thru contacts or detective agencies. Be sure if a girl is filing a false 498a on her husband means, credibility, moral are very low in her family. Definitely there could be lot of abnormalities their family. Get detailed background about her parents & siblings. (This should have been done b4 marriage. Since we missed it, we got trapped in 498a)
* If the girl is employed or eligible for employment, keep a special eye on her moments. It will be very helpful for maintenance cases.
* Never be in hurry to settle the case with money. The police & the crooked lawyers can't do anything, once u passes the initial ordeals in the police station.
* In counseling sessions of RCR case, try to confuse the counselor & wife as much as possible by saying only good things about your wife, even if she had done nothing to u.(It will be real fun)
* Never show interest on 2nd marriage in any of your conversations with lawyers & wife's side.
* If the instigators, brothers, FIL are in govt job, collect info abt their credibility & make a move accordingly. Try to nail them individually by creating problems to them. Nobody will help others, if their own house is on fire.
* Uses RTI to its maximum extend. It’s our “Brahmastra” to tackle 498a case. RTI can be used effectively against the members of wife side, with clear cut objective.
* Don’t be in urge to file counter cases. Make slow & steady moves to nail them.
* Get the copy of the complaint or charge sheet & read every word in those documents. You can get numerous clues to file counter cases. Discuss with senior SIF members on this.
* Collect evidences to counter the allegations mentioned in the complaint.
* Trust that it’s extremely difficult to prove false allegations. So run thru your memory lane & write down all the incidents, fights, arguments happened between u & your wife from the day of your marriage. This will be very helpful in courts & counseling sessions.
* Keep a careful watch during counseling sessions in family court as u can get many clues & counter arguments from wife’s statement & counselor’s queries.
Advantages of false dowry cases:
* Never lose heart for these filthy cases, which kills time & money. It will definitely test your nerves & will power. At the end of this ordeal u will be surprised to see your own strength & will power growing immensely.
* Believe me, there is no other ordeal in this great nation (Jai Hind!) for its own citizens as intimidating & cruel than false 498a case. (And not every citizen of this country is blessed with this case, to test their nerves)
* Please concentrate on your job or business as usual. Everything will be cleared & u can start a fresh personal life. Believe me; these cases can supply immense will power, which u can use in job or business to deal with day to day problems.
* Can get rid of ill educated & crooked wife.
* You will be aware of so many laws, IPCs & functions of Indian Judiciary, Police & other Govt organizations.
* Your strength & will power will improve tremendously, which will be very vital in this completive world. This is the real benefit out of 498a.
And always believe that, "TRUTH ALONE TRIUMPHS"
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